Discernment

I was kind of nervous about all of the events that are happening in my life however they seem to be falling together so perfectly. At the family gathering to ring in the new year I mentioned what was happening in my life. After praying about receiving clear discretion for a while, it may be happening. If it is,  why am I so apprehensive? After all, this is in God's hands.
          During a Bible study I was reminded that even if something not part of God's will, events may still fall into place-- God allowance doesn't always mean God's approval. After having a wonderful meeting with my cousin Randi I was reminded to pray for clarity along with additional benefits from God. Will you please pray with me for discernment and Stillness to hear God's voice and understand if this is what is best...
          Sitting at a different Starbucks I was not just observing other people and coming up with stories about events in their life, I conversed with the barista and talked about her enjoyment of Starbucks and the vast differences between two particular locations. Eventually I was sitting there composing this story watching Charles play cards with his children... and every so often I would get a huge squeeze and an “I love you Miss Kimi” from one of the boys. Pestering the two random strangers in the store, the second one, Josh, was the reason we were there.
         Josh explained his college plans at Colorado Christian University and as child- like excitement welled up in me I explained my time at CCU. I gave him a quick summary of what I was trying to handle and...THIS JUST NOW ENTERED MY MIND, I've sought God's, family member’s, and friends approval but what about mine? What do I think? Yes, certain areas differ from the “norm” in each of our lives tremendously due to what life has handed each of us, but will dealing with these be fun? I am often told that I can ask for as many opinions as there are stars in the sky, but it all comes down to my decision. Side note: Frontal Lobe damage hinders decision making which could be why I write blogs before deciding-- I write them,  sleep on it, re- read them being removed from the situation (I don't always remember what I am dealing with). Then I think about what I would do if I were her. Remember that I am actually her.
Back to the story, I have sought God and Godly counsel but now it is up to me… Signing out as I attempt to be still...