God is in control ALL of the time!

I was once told in more or less words that always putting a "God label" on everything reduces the Power of His name.  At the time I agreed but I instantly prayed about it as I knew not to agree but didn't have the words to defend myself at that moment. Spending all day at work (PRAISE GOD FOR MY JOB!!!) wrestling over how to justify that God is always in control, God reminded me of a dear friend's recent testimony. I couldn't even remember the "punch line" parse, however thanks to the people who understand that my cell phone "Notes" feature is my memory and allow me to "text" during Church, I was able to refer to refresh my memory. I have this "Testimony was given and I was reminded to focus on fixing myself (my walk with God), that God will handle the hearts of others," and to put everything else in His hands.

Jeremiah 32:27(AMP)

27 Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is there anything too hard for Me?

Perhaps I was at a loss for words at the moment, but now I see

Do you have it?

Being disgusted with myself after missing both of the Bible studies that are taking place tonight, I was praying about a recent situation. I try to read Scripture in a predetermined, orderly fashion and was getting ready to read Proverbs 14 when I opened my Bible to Matthew 13. God steered my eyes to verse 58. 

Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 13:58 - New International Version

And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

After a recent conversation I was ready to chalk a man up as a lost cause-- someone who was too far gone for me. Then I read this and thought, "wouldn't I hate to be the reason that God's miracles weren't performed in someone's life?" That would be so terrible!!! What I can do now may seem to some as powerless, however it has proven powerful time and time again so I get to bring my concerns and worries to God and PRAY-- HAVING FAITH THAT IN his PERFECT TIME, (whether the answer is yes, no or wait) that His answer will come, I only have to have Faith!

GOD'S ALWAYS AT WORK!

GOD'S ALWAYS AT WORK!

Many things I've written explain the validity of hindsight-- when one is able to reflect on and evaluate events, more sound decisions can be made (this is all my opinion of course). I have been overwhelmed with peace recently. This is the strangest feeling I've had since my accident. Since my accident? That was over 13 years ago-- that is a long time!! It may be a long time to you, but in my mind it seems like just yesterday. I am not saying that I will not ever pout or freak out again, I'm just saying that I feel amazing! I imagine this may be what a person feels like when a person is doing drugs and/or is high, but I'm on a natural high and I haven't even started taking melatonin (a sleep aid) nor do I know if I have a job that I have applied for at a school. ß So I wrote that section this morning (10/2/14) THEN….i get a surprise visit from a man I met in 2011. You may be thinking "Kimi has a brain injury and has a hard time remembering 3 minutes ago MUCH LESS 3 years ago."

That my friends, is why I keep a Prayer Journal. A section of the entry from that day 3 years ago (the day I had met this man) is as follows “Lord, I pray for Adam Loehr—I don’t know if he is who he says he is or not but Lord I just pray that in me, he saw Jesus Christ.” Then yesterday I asked the Lord if we could meet with a person Adam knows (to make sure he wasn’t putting on a front) and with God’s permission I asked Adam the same. He mentioned going to Chadbourne Church.  I told him about Rocky Mountain Calvary and Spruce Hill Church (Churches I attend) when all of a sudden a lady walks into the restaurant we were in and says “Hey Adam!”  Oh my it was someone that known Adam! It was none other than the associate pastor of Chadbourne Church! That was an instantaneous answer to a prayer! When the associate pastor invited me to Church I explained how Sunday was typically the day Ma and I got together and went to the Cowboy Church (Spruce Hill). Although I thought about asking if we could go to both Churches, I didn't think I should however I asked him anyways (I'm a rebel...lol). I was a bit taken back, when he said “sure.”  This guy is a complete weirdo I thought. God, can this be true, somebody that actually wants to go to more than one church on Sunday with me?? We'll have to see if he will sit through 3 of the same services at RMC next week..no not really hahaha....okay maybe.

I've been given 3 years to reflect on meeting this man. When we had first met, it was on the bus and when he asked to continue talking I got off and went to Red Lobster and I made sure the workers knew that I had never met this man and to watch me carefully. Sadly the workers did kinda make him feel uncomfortable as he remembers that day quite vividly but he's very understanding because I was single.

So now I wonder, I have been told that not many people stick around for long in my life, if remembering the vicinity of where live without having contact for 3 years counts. In those 3 years God has done amazing things in both his life and mine. Although he told me about a few things in his life, I will only mention what has gone on in my life. I have been through a lot of college and a lot of Church. I partially made it through grad school, and God gave me a position with kids at Church!

          Today I finally started taking the melatonin so I am tired and I have next step of the hiring process for D-11 tomorrow (10/3/14). Please pray for this interview as I believe this is the final one.

Hindsight has not been validated yet, but so many pieces are fitting together. See you around!

Peace Be Still

Peace Be Still                                                 

What an exciting day today has been! When I first woke up I just didn't feel right and wasn't able to work out…. Okay I could have but I felt like there was a cold coming on and I would spread germs everywhere or get more germs. I had a lot of fun talking with Safawn and I hope she had fun as well. Then I took a trip to Dickey's and met Shaina where we were able to have such a WONDERFUL discussion and God showed me more reasons that we first met-- I am so blessed to have met her 2 years ago!  

I was able to get home just in time to be picked up and taken to the next part of my District 11 interview where the MD was a total highlight of my day :-). Although I am generally a positive person, my first D-11 physical interview went poorly hence why I do not have the job…. Okay okay in all fairness it was not a job I should've applied for as the physical demands were completely out of my ability range but I think I am he-woman! However, the reason I did apply was to get my name out there in hopes that a job like the one currently under consideration would come along. My hopes are so high for this job it's not even funny. I promise this new medicine is amazing… I totally feel like myself!

SIDENOTE: Some people have seen me in bad moods since I have been on this new medicine however overall my moods have been a whole lot happier and back to my old self. And if you want to talk psychology, to be diagnosed with anything psychologically the symptoms must occur consistently for a certain length of time.

Additional excitement! While I was waiting for the bus to go meet Shaina I received a call and I was asked to move from a substitute in child care to a permanent position. I was totally up front with her and told her what was going on but now that I am writing this I'm letting go of anything giving it all to God because I would totally love working in the children's ministry.

*If you are the praying type, please pray that the Lord’s will is done!

            God just reminded me to be still as I thought of my friend Amy as a child singing Peace Be Still.

An Exception

An Exception

I woke up this morning with excitement. One because it was Sunday and I love going to Church but  it was a different kind of excitement. I was shaking because I would get to hear my new friend (Jim Edwards) on the radio (103.9 fm). As I started getting ready the first college class I took in 2006 at UCCS, psychology of the exceptional child with Lynn Fitzgrew popped into my head. I remember the excitement I had about starting a UCCS, and that same time the sadness I had about having to take your class that again appointment to the fact, again that since my accident I was "exceptional." At the time I was focused on myself going down that I didn't want to take the class focusing on what else may need different, I was definitely not where I am now with God and did not even think about how God could be using what I learned the class in my life.

I went through seven years of college where my educational goals ranged from getting a degree in psychology to getting my teachers license. Let me remind you that those goals, the latter one has yet to be reached. Had his eyes still sit here and ask “God, what am I doing?” As I was applying for jobs in looking at my resume I was reminded of what I had done so far (since my brain injury and moving back out here). My mom and I started a brain injury support group for young adults as the brain injury sport group that exists (Headway) seems to be for older people and although some members are so much fun and completely young-at-heart, there are different focuses in life during every different stage of life.

Now that college is over (at least for the moment) attendance at Headway has started again. Although some weeks I'm not up for pizza or salad (as served at Fargo's, where Headway meets) a few of the other members and I have been discussing how going to the meeting is not always for our personal enjoyment. At least once a month the group’s leader Debbie is there anything gives us important information about beneficial events taking place around the community. Not only can we learn great information but as the group always offers, there is a great time of socialization. Okay it sounds like I'm trying to sell something, but I just want to explain how different things in life are connecting.

This is going to be a bit disconnected but I think most of my writing (blogging) is. So here we go: when I was in college after taking the exceptional child class I took statistics and the statistics professor was musician. Somewhere in there I was urged to listen to our RXP (103.9FM) but it just wasn't my kind of music so I didn't really do it much. However I didn't go to bars downtown to listen to my professor’s band often. When I went to listen to my professor I would often end up dancing and trying to bust a move with friends and classmates. I really had not been dancing that much besides at different weddings I've been to lately and most recently my sister's wedding. I was invited to go dancing for my aunt's birthday. At the beginning of the week when I had first been told about the celebration were having I mentally made a note that I wanted to dance with somebody random. I thought, first of all I won't be my wheelchair so people won't have any hesitations. When we got there the crowd was definitely not a crowd I would think of dancing with although they sure could dance!

[SIDENOTE:] Okay I totally forgot to insert one of the connections, at Headway I met an amazing man with a spinal injury. Although I had taken many classes about the human brain that were taken during a time when I was still learning about what my brain injury was much less focusing on a different kind of injury. I had no clue about how spinal cord injuries affected a person. That day I prayed that God would give me a greater understanding of a spinal cord injury. Although his mom told me I could ask anything you wanted, I still wanted to research and find out information for myself because it's fun.

I ended up dancing with a man who has a spinal cord injury and is in a wheelchair. I also found out is a radio personality on RXP…RXP??? Oh wow!! My statistics professor... My first years at UCCS…. My first class…. Psychology of the exceptional child!!! In this class the way "exceptional" was referred to was that a child has a disability that prohibited her or him from learning in a traditional fashion. Henceforth the child was exceptional. Not only am I exceptional, but most people with a disability are exceptional!

There are we go, I was able to learn about spinal cord injuries through someone else however I will to have to talk to Ace because every injury effects each person so differently and doctors give information from what has happened in previous cases. My first neurologist put it best when telling my mom what to expect after my brain injury, “Kimi will do what she can do when she can do it.”

Just Dance

Just Dance

Keeping a prayer journal has been done off and on since sometime in high school. Primarily my Prayer Journal was used so I could reflect on how God was working through my life. However, since my brain injury my “Prayer Journal” has been more or less a journal of my daily activities serving as my memory or external hard drive.  I’ve noticed that more often recently my prayers that are answered are not the ones I’ve been mulling over and praying about for a long time, but rather the thoughts or ideas that I “nonchalantly” pass by God in an almost joking “Dear God” fashion.    

            Last night my aunts, my mom, and I went out to have a long overdue birthday celebration for one of my aunts. When I had first heard of what we were going to be doing (dancing), I decided I was going to dance with at least one “random person” or a person I had just met. The crowd at Maxi’s was definitely not a young adult crowd as it just happened to be the last night of Maxi’s being at their current location however when you get the three stooges (the 3 sista’s as they like to call themselves) there is fun to be had. The fun wasn’t so prevalent at the begining. Walking in, I saw a man in a wheelchair and instantly thought “that’s him, that’s who I am coming to dance with.” Then reality spoke up and reminded me that most people in that situation (in a wheelchair) cannot stand, walk or much less dance—what was I thinking?  Was I? Then again, I remembered that my new friend Ace had recently taught me how to dance with a partner in a wheelchair when we were at Craig Hospital. Soon enogh the man in the wheelchair approached me and mentioned my cane. Pulling up a chair I told him of my situation and asked his.  We talked for a bit then were off to dance. We danced a few times and had more time to talk. As I am writing this I remember coming home from Fargo’s, where I meet Ace, one day and I was praying to become more knowledgeable about spinal cord injuries so I could learn more about Ace.

Fortunately but unfortunately spinal cord injuries are similar to brain injuries (what I have) and most any disability in one aspect—the disability has the undeniable label it has as the result of a scientifically sometimes obviously verifiable evidence. For example, when a bone is broken sometimes you are able to actually see the displacement of the limb or area of the body injured. There are many disabilities on the other hand that are “invisible." I am going to focus on brain injuries and spinal cord injuries although many variations exist.

Ever since.I have been brain-injured, I’ve been to events where the survivors varied. Some had a stroke, others have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and some have a spinal cord injury. From what I have studied and been told, a brain injury is similar to a stroke as in both cases, the brain is effected. I have a friend with a spinal cord injury but he also has a brain injury so I would never know what initiated or caused an action or event. You may ask why the cause matters. Actually the cause does not matter, I just like to write, research, and gain knowledge. My philosophy is this: the brain is very malleable and actions can be learned and unlearned—the brain can re-wire itself. The spinal cord.... not so much, but I am still researching and learning about spinal cord injuries as I do not have one (my spine may disagree because I race up curbs and over speed bumps when driving my wheelchair (Hot Rod)so fast that I often land and feel my spine compress. I think my Hot Rod just needs shocks.

Last night I met a man who has a spinal cord injury and no brain injury. He is a radio personality (Jim Edwards) on 103.9 FM (Sat. 12n-6pm, Sun 6am-12n). Although I haven't herd him on the radio yet, the mere job description elicits that he is a fun person. Oh that's right, spinal cord injuries. I asked Jim what the effects of his spinal cord injury are and he said that besides paralysis he lives a “normal” life. After all of the information I’ve gathered from these injuries so far, spinal cord injuries and brain injuries are similar in the aspect that they are medically diagnosed. Any further diagnosis is self-reported and will vary according to each person.
As I started jotting down yesterdays events in my Prayer Journal so I would remember to thank God for the people and events that filled the night, this writing was the result.

Kimi….the shaky one…sold knifes?!?

Kimi….the shaky one…sold knifes?!?

I had an appointment at The Independence Center and did not have high expectations as I have dealt with another government organization for the previous decade and gotten no-where. What happened is while I was at Safeway talking to my best Eddie, he told

me that he had a friend that the Independence Center and thought it would be a good idea if I met him. Whether or not this leads to a job for me or not will be determined in the future, but everything starts somewhere. Eddie's friend started out as a volunteer and now he has his own office and an awesome title. He even suggested that I co-facilitate a group of  his…. Leading the group like that is one of my many dreams.

Oh so about the shaky picture of my discrumbled, dismantled , and bent ID being held up (with a knife to it )-- That is Mr. Stuart-- who looked at my resume and hadn't made a copy of my ID. When he returned from making a copy of my ID he explained that he first image that came to his head as for the explanation of the ID being in shape that it was .  I had to take a picture of him demonstrating what I must have looked like showing cutlery using my ID. This was his explanation for the beat up ID. Sadly, I had to say that the image he was getting wasn't completely wrong. Most of the customers demonstrated it for themselves after I explained it and although this worked the majority of time, here is a photo of my presentation gone awry!

 

Needless to say, that was a very short-lived adventure (trying to sell knives).

Selected the Wrong Neurotransmitter

Selected the Wrong Neurotransmitter
I have been taking an antidepressant ever since my brain injury. I have been on a few different medicines as some of them reacted really strange my body. Since I've been out in Colorado the first medicine I was on was Celexa. Celexa is an SSRI (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor) meaning that it stopped my brain from re-up taking a certain amount of the neurotransmitter serotonin. After I had been taking it for quite sometime and unbeknownst to me this SSRI was selecting the wrong neurotransmitter to re-uptake.
Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that is involved in the transmission of nerve impulses. Serotonin can trigger the release of substances in the blood vessels of the brain that in turn cause the pain of migraine. Serotonin is also key to mood regulation; pain perception; gastrointestinal function, including perception of hunger and satiety; and other physical functions. (http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=5468).
Getting oddly angry and having strange  justifications for the anger, I managed to lose super important potential milestones in my life—A boyfriend left me and I didn’t pass a required class with an A or B to become a teacher.
 
Although I knew I wasn’t behaving like myself I refused to succumb to the scientific facts that the body will eventually become tolerant to certain types of medicine keeping the medicine from working. Often my reasoning for the anger would be because I was being put in a situation that I didn't like or subconsciously couldn't handle, however the situation was one I previously enjoyed and even would gain energy from. Depression is mainly diagnosed through self-report as the obvious outward expressions of the activity taking place internally are generally very accurate (like your nose itching signifying an upcoming sneeze or your stomach growling when you are hungry).
 
As I started writing this a sermon started playing. The sermon ended up being about forgiveness. I want to those I was mean to (especially Dr. Swaby and my classmates in her class) to please forgive me. I hope all of the teacher candidates I met have a great year!!

The nerotransmitter wasn't wrong parse, the body just became immune to the medicine.

The Story of a Heart Bag

The Story of a Heart Bag

One autumn day my step-mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I am sure that at the time I was trying to get through school so Christmas gifts were the last thing on my mind. Oddly enough I do keep ongoing lists throughout the year of random things that I need for my own good so I remember reading her that list because my apartment is packed. You know how at every holiday you receive gifts that you are not quite sure how to use although you love the idea that the person thought of you and bought you a gift? That's how a gift that my step-mom bought me was  it was a bag that folded into little pouch. I LOVED IT simply because I love little things that are really useful but I had no clue how I was going to use it .Nor did I know the many uses for the bag.

While I was still in college I kept it in its little pouch in my backpack just in case…. Just in case….. just in case…well that's a WHOLE different story. Now that I'm not in college I wasn't sure where I wanted to put the bag so I always had it-- I knew it could be useful. In many coffee shops/restaurants (okay, McAllister's is the only restaurant I know of that this is the case but I have to include it because it is a hometown restaurant) you get some sort of discount if you have your own cup….wait, what am I thinking, I just got back from Dickey's BBQ where they also do that and yes I have a Dickey’s cup and McAllister cup oh and a Starbucks cup (okay it's  Starbucks cup but they will give a discount for bringing any cup of your own). While I was in school I just happened to have a random cup in my backpack when I will go to Starbucks. However, now that I'm no longer in school and job searching/writing/reviewing every day I have so much more time to go to one of the three places I mentioned. Note that I do keep a bottle of water on me just in case I get stranded somewhere and cannot reach a discounted drink station :-/. How in the world do I carry all that stuff on my wheelchair with my front seat being my backseat being my driver seat and my trunk?

Think about the back seat and all of the odds and ends that fill your car. Maybe you are a clean car person who doesn't carry anything but your registration and legal documents necessary, well this story isn't for you. All my family has tons of stuff in her car whether it's my sister has a zillion kids only half of which are her own, my mom who has files in one section, pots in another section (she is a Potter, no she does not smoke it), my step-mom….. Well she's one of the clean ones although it does get filled with plants quite often. And my dad… where should I start…. There's a little bit of this and a little bit that, plus uniforms for the wrestlers, munchies in case we all decide to hop in the vehicles and go somewhere (even if we're just going to his mom's house), it's  always good to have a munchie.

My car is my electric wheelchair. It's my front seat, back seat, glove box, trunk, it’s everything! I have many bags (like grocery bags) but those are for groceries and get tore up enough (yes even cloth bags) with the boxes I jam into them and the fruit that I put in its own bag so it will not get ruined…. Well needless to say, most of the time I come home with an unintentionally prepared fruit salad—Bon a petite.

Oh, back to the heart bag. It was something that I got for Christmas that I

could use somehow but had been kept in a backpack. Now that I'm out of school looking for a job, I often go to random places to get a refill as I sit there and write (although more often at these times ideas are formulating and most of the writing occurs at home). That sure is a long introduction or maybe that is the point I want to get across…. There are times in life when you may "assign" objects to uses, people to activities or places, or even (Oh I am excited because I know this is something people do subconsciously) assign a scent to place and when you smell that smell it triggers a memory. The memory contains people the people were from your past….

Oh no, the bag… So I got this heart bag that I now use for my various different cups to go get refills all across town as I try to formulate stories. As I was at Dickey’s today wondering how God would show up today (it was after 3 and I had no clue what I was going to write. I turned around to pull out my Dickey’s cup. God said…you are that bag to me. Now write. I had no specific plans for the use of that bag heart but I was sure it was going to be so useful, often people (I seriously don't know who these people are that I am referring to) have their own ideas of how God will to use them and if they don’t/can’t see themselves as being used in that certain way they turn from God and do their own thing. This is coming out of God now because I was not planning this….. My cousin wanted to go on a mission trip possibly with the group, you know do an awesome mission trip with fellow believers….. Well she ended up spending a lot of her summer in not a very organized situation. She was in a different country without anyone she knew and she stayed there the amount of time she had signed up for. Not even sure there was running water. This relates the bag how? Well, I didn't see much use for the bag at first, but now it is my favorite bag to go on adventures throughout the town and gather stories with. The part it plays? The bag holds all of my refillable cups. Maybe the reason behind doing something the Holy Spirit is nudging you towards isn't obvious or has no instant gratification. Go for it, do it anyways! My cousin might not see how her service was used at all or why she went to Kenya, but in the meantime have patience. You’ve answered the call and are just waiting for a response. We may think we are answering our Call like I had pans designed for that bag, but the plans God has are far greater than what we can even fathom. 
THANKS BID!!!

Not alone climbing this mountain!

I got home from helping my sister (I actually carried some boxes all by myself without crashing jnto the wall or falling!!!) and started to cry…but why?? I am so excited to see that my sister has such a nice roomy house for her family!
I ccouldn’t imagine why I was crying. Well I had that one professor that said it was good to cry for at least 5 minutes a day but I haven’t found scientific evidence for that yet.

God’s word started to come to mind…”Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 I was meditating on that when I received a text message:

“Here is a song for you. Kimi, your life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven. May He fill you with His peace.”

Climb This Mountain - WorshipMob - Our Passion

Climb This Mountain

youtu.be

Still Rolling

Still Rolling

At Starbucks yesterday I rolled in and sat to my usual spot. I happened to be right next to a man who was later joined by his wife.  I started talking to this man and quickly realized that he was the whole reason I thought I needed to stop at Starbucks. 

The man was part of the narcotics police team in another state when he was injured which forced to medically retire. We talked about experiences since our life altering incidents and the similarities that we had regarding experiences, health factors, and faith proved to me that there is definitely a reason we are both here and it is totally being used by God.  Speaking of  people who are put in an undesireable situation and manage to find Earthly benefits Aunt Renae was told she has cancer and since then she has not only hiked her first 14er, but she’s hiked most of them that in Colorado! GO AUNT RENAE!!

I was headed home and reached the place where, in the past I would start crying for no reason so I thought okay Kimi, see something that makes you think of a depressing thought and  start crying because that's how it would generally happen. Then I thought “God is so good and always puts me in the perfect places at perfect times why would I cry? Okay, for those of you who have read about my crazy incidences being caught in the rain while searching for schools I was supposed to sub at…. Well those reasons just haven't been revealed yet, but I'm sure there are  reasons but right now just isn’t the time for them to be revealed.

Epiphany for the day….so far….Women’s clothing sizes come in even numbers and Juniors sizes are in odd numbers.

Epiphany for the day….so far….Women’s clothing sizes come in even numbers and Juniors sizes are in odd numbers.

As I was putting on my pants this morning I looked and saw they were size 7. I figured they had to fit as I was just in a size 4. Well getting them on was not much of a problem but buttoning them? There was no way!  So I ran to Ross quickly (for those of you who do not know my running actually means jumping in my Hot Rod (wheelchair) and ridding it full throttle to the store.

I get to the store and realize the couple pairs of white pants that remained were not my size or even close to my size. So I told Kim (the Ross employee ) that I going home and would just wear black pants because I couldn't find anything that will work. I went home and opened my dawer of dress/black pants where I surprisingly found many other pants that my aunt had given me. Although some of them were not my style, I pulled out one of the pair of white pants but they were a size 4. Without thinking about what could happen I just put them on and…. THEY FIT!!! This this leads me to the conclusion that Junior-sized clothing comes in odd numbers and Woman-sized clothing come in even numbers. However before I publish this on the Internet let me make sure that is true….. This is basically true except for the pesky juniors size 0. Well I suppose that the conclusion I drew is still valid because zero is neither even more odd.

Oh yes back to my story, so the pants fit fabulously and before I knew it I was being picked up for my lunch with Cowboy Bill. Unsuprisingly Bill looked all cowboy-like totally living up to his cowboy name. We ordered this fabulous lunch deal at Olive Garden were you pick an entree to eat then and you pick another that is given to you for later consumption. I wonder if my friend who doesn't eat leftovers (he calls them re—heats) would eat these because you're not reheating them as when they are heated to be even it will be the first time we are heated. So before you think all I'll money there if all they do is keep up their food, their is only a select number of entrées you can choose from for this fun lunch deal.

I only made it to the tail end of the Write-Up group although I made it just in time for what I needed to learn.  At the meeting Ken encouraged me to continue blogging as a way to get my name out there. When I told him that my blog was basically an elaboration of my journal, he told me that journaling was how the first blog/blogging got started.  WOO-HOO I am doing something right!

Crackers Anyone?

Today I went to Dickey's and stayed there for a long time just thinking. Prior to going to Dickey's I stopped at the bank and transferred some money. I happened to put a pack of peanut butter crackers in my purse for some unknown reason (besides the fact that I'm weird and just go to Dickey's to get potato salad or coleslaw and enjoy the free ice cream) bringing crackers to a restaurant is not too normal. However, I felt the random need to bring crackers so I did. As I mentioned I stop by the bank as I was there I had to empty out my purse to find my wallet on the counter in front of the bank lady. As I was doing this I rambled on about each thing I pulled out my purse. Starting with the crackers I set them on the counter said "I have no clue why I have peanut butter crackers.” This led her to tell me how she loves butter crackers and that they remind her of her grandmother because her grandmother also loved peanut butter crackers and they would eat them and have such a good time together.    By golly this was the reason I packed peanut butter crackers to go to a restaurant! So the crackers were her's all along I only had to deliver them.

I was also notified that a friend of mine, Rob will be MIA on Facebook for a little as he wants to pray and fast to see where God is leading him. I am totally excited that he is doing this now, before we ever meet in person. He's coming down soon to meet Worship Mob sooner than later and to visit a friend who recently moved here at which time will probably meet.

            As I read over what I just wrote, I remembered that I don't need to be a mat and let men run over me or let guys make all the decisions; with God's leading I need to take control of my life until he meant he has picked out for me and I meet.

I am totally all over the place when I blog, but I guess that's just a view into how my brain works. With that being said, as I was going to sleep last night-- we had so much fun at Bible study it lasted for a while and putting my mind to rest after that was nearly impossible. I was thinking about what a friend had told me after seeing a picture of Rob.

God is totally transforming the mind, heart, and spirit. Where at one time all that I cared about was those books of myself and others, I am now learning that looks can diminish in the blink of an eye. In my car accident I could have been totally disfigured but praise God that didn't happen. So rather than focusing on looks that may be here today and gone tomorrow, I am learning to focus on a person's spirit. If one's spirit is focused on God, he is same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8).

The Lord’s Business

The Lord’s Business

            Recently as I was at the local Christian bookstore I ended up purchasing several cups. Having no idea what I was going to and use them for besides giving a few to certain friends at Church, I was zipping around town with bags full of clips on the back of my wheelchair. This didn't allow me to ride on bus in the proper position at first although eventually it was corrected.

Because I was going to The Perk me up with a friend (who I haven't seen in five years) soon I thought that I would just give him one of the cups although it had no significant meaning to our friendship. I also had picked out a few cups that I wanted to give certain friends at Church; however when I got back home from meeting with my friend I realized that I did not give him the cup. I asked God why I still had the cup and then thoughts of the work my new friend is doing for the Lord surfaced. I thought, now THAT is courageous-- the cup I was going to give my friend says “Courageous.” I began to shake with excitement and had so much emotion inside of me.

With my friend being given visions of this plan three years ago and pieces of the plan slowly being confirmed excites me but at same time as it simultaneously reminds me that God’s time is certainly not like ours and well, it excites me even more! Noah was told to build a huge ship in the mist of a drought. Crazy? To the world, yes. But did the ark eventually become needed?  Right.   

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (ESV) He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

Comes in Like a Lamb and out Like a Lion???

I woke up and got ready to start my day and it was only 6 o'clock am and I was ready to meet with Levi (we had plans on meeting at noonish). I took the bus downtown and we located each other we had lunch at a new favorite, East Coast. I felt really awkward not knowing where I was while downtown since I was not on my usual "stomping grounds." However, I did feel a little better when I visited a fire station downtown although I had to explain that I just like to hang out at the station . After which I visited with the lieutenant and B shift. Even though only a few of them were there, the crew was full of a typical firefighter joking and they were pretty happy crew!

 

When Levi was taking me back to the bus station I was getting very impatient because his assistive device cannot go fast (he has a go-go like Bill had). When I finally got home…actually I never got home because I remembered that I needed to pick up a few things before tomorrow so I stopped by a store to do that. It was dinnertime when I finished grabbing what I needed from the store when I remembered that I had a coupon for a meal on Tuesday at the BBQ pit next door. I was excited, very excited -- not about the BBQ although the BBQ is so good, but I was excited about the free ice cream!

After I ate I got ice cream. While I was eating ice cream I had time just to sit there, by myself listening to songs that brought back memories and memories turned on the tears. Therefore I started crying so  I left the restaurant and ran into a man right outside the door who said, "you are so beautiful!" Disbelieving that God could answer a prayer that quickly (a prayer asking God to help me focus on Him and not myself so I would quit crying in public), I turned and looked at him and tried to give them a nasty look and said “Why in the world would you say that?” Almost like I expected an apology from him for calling me beautiful. He was explaining and I was asking him questions…. Completely random questions like where went to school when he was in high school and other awkward questions. We were eventually separated by various incidences.

As I was leaving my, attention was drawn to a man at a table about service dogs.

This man and I were talking about service dogs and of course I was able to share what God has done in my life through my accident. This, in turn, had him share how God had already been using the "sit at the service dog table" volunteer position as a total way to reach people... Like in my situation, I started talking about service dogs  and why were needed. As soon as there was a communication pathway between us, God took the reins and only He knows what is to come.