REVISED Accepting the Circumstances
December 27, 2013 at 12:26pm
REVISED Accepting the Circumstances
Shortly
after my accident I had to move from Mississippi to Colorado.
Mississippi was where I knew everyone and they knew my “track record”--
what my life was like before my accident and how the accident had
effected me. Although I was born in this new place, Colorado and spent
my first few year of life there, I would like to think that I had really
become my own individual in the years I spent in Mississippi (the
majority of 3rd through 12th grade). Although in many of my writings I
mention that I had become a new person after my accident, I'm now
realizing that deep down inside I am still person that God created me to
be as a 3lb. 9oz. baby. Since my accident I had been spending too much
energy trying to achieve life with the caliber that I had before my
accident.
I wasn't the nerdiest of
nerds before my accident, although I enjoyed having homework groups at
my house, going to math and science study groups and competitions, and
hanging out with other people that I wouldn't consider myself “as smart
as” in my spare time. I was a cheerleader, but I definitely was not the
best cheerleader and I also ran track and tried cross country (hahaha).
Now, it has been over a decade since my accident and I thought that I
had surely settled into a grown-up version of who I was before my
accident-- with God and religion being more a part of my life now than I
had ever imagined before my accident that couldn’t be the missing part
of my life. I was /am still going to college and even though it was/is a
lot harder for me to process information than it was before, I still
love school so that couldn’t be the missing part of my life. A job… well
I only had/have jobs during breaks from college so that couldn’t be the
missing part of my life. What is it? There still was something else
missing.
I had never realized that this was such
an integral part of my life perhaps because it had been missing for so
long. I met this guy who is nothing like the jock that I always dreamed
of spending forever with (but then again I was no longer the peppy
cheerleader that he dreamed of being either). First and for most he is a
Christian. He loves his family, is a total nerd, and I am so excited to
learn more! Please pray that when we meet things go exactly as God has
planned. BACK TO MY LETTER: I GOT A LITTLE PREACHY-- I may not be the
sharpest crayon in the box, tool in the shed or tack in the drawer but
by golly, I have been given unique qualities that make me a WONDERFUL
creation of God. And for anyone, I mean ANYONE that doesn’t feel like
they are enough….just remember that YOU alone were enough for a man
(Jesus Christ) to die for. Jesus Christ, would have died if you were the
only person on Earth! Wait—that is still preachy. Well I just guess I
am a little preachy because Jesus Christ is my best friend and if
talking about my best friend makes me seem a little preachy, then that's
just who I am!
* This was totally a letter to a friend, but it turned into…something else! To God be the glory!
So
the best thing happened yesterday (Christmas Day). Not only did I have
the best time with my immediate family. My step-mom’s family had me
laughing so very hard as I was trying to get a serious answer out of her
brothers. The question was "what is the difference between a geek and a
nerd. Of course I asked her brothers because I'm pretty sure they are
the adult version of whatever a “geek”/”nerd” happens to be (Remember, I
absolutely love you Uncle Dan and Uncle Ron). Even though they just
ended up arguing over who I should ask because it is the other brother
who is a geek AND a nerd, I asked others and I was finally given an
answer. The difference between a geek and a nerd is totally logical. A
geek likes computers and all type of stuff and then a nerd is mainly
interested in academic subjects. Why does that seem logical? Look around
town and you will see vans with “Geek Squad” plastered on the side of
them. The people driving them repair computers. This day and age (and
perhaps this has always been true), a geek is someone who well
knowledgeable about computers. This leaves the other type of person
(academically smart like those totally into academic subjects and the
like) as a nerd. Again, that bunny trail was completely off of what I
was trying to get at when I was talking about meeting a guy and asking
for prayer.
I sent what I had done at the time of
this letter to Dustin to make sure that he didn't mind that I was
sharing this with people. I woke up this morning with the text saying
“…if you post that letter, I would suggest removing the part about
praying our meeting goes well, as I consider this a nice dinner date
with my girlfriend.” I am so totally excited and I wish everyone else
could live inside my head and see how all the pieces of my life seem to
be coming together. I know a relationship is not a sum total of the
important things in one's life, but after being through what I have and
realizing it's hard to find people who accept me for who I am, this is a
pretty important thing in my life. It's more exciting because although
we have talked on the phone and talked electronically for a little over a
month, we haven't met.
This morning I woke up and
wasn't totally sure that I was awake so I texted Dustin and asked him
if we were seriously dating because we have never actually met in
person. Although that's the way I roll, no one agrees (I'm afraid my
parents might frown on this). He responded by saying that "if he says it
he means it, and [he] absolutely likes me for who I am as that is what
caught his attention.… Like me, [he] dance[s] to the beat of his own
drum." He thought he inadvertently asked me out after getting to know me
a few weeks ago. Although I can't pin point exactly when that was, I am
completely excited because it’s clear now!!
