God is in control ALL of the time!

I was once told in more or less words that always putting a "God label" on everything reduces the Power of His name.  At the time I agreed but I instantly prayed about it as I knew not to agree but didn't have the words to defend myself at that moment. Spending all day at work (PRAISE GOD FOR MY JOB!!!) wrestling over how to justify that God is always in control, God reminded me of a dear friend's recent testimony. I couldn't even remember the "punch line" parse, however thanks to the people who understand that my cell phone "Notes" feature is my memory and allow me to "text" during Church, I was able to refer to refresh my memory. I have this "Testimony was given and I was reminded to focus on fixing myself (my walk with God), that God will handle the hearts of others," and to put everything else in His hands.

Jeremiah 32:27(AMP)

27 Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is there anything too hard for Me?

Perhaps I was at a loss for words at the moment, but now I see

Do you have it?

Being disgusted with myself after missing both of the Bible studies that are taking place tonight, I was praying about a recent situation. I try to read Scripture in a predetermined, orderly fashion and was getting ready to read Proverbs 14 when I opened my Bible to Matthew 13. God steered my eyes to verse 58. 

Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 13:58 - New International Version

And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

After a recent conversation I was ready to chalk a man up as a lost cause-- someone who was too far gone for me. Then I read this and thought, "wouldn't I hate to be the reason that God's miracles weren't performed in someone's life?" That would be so terrible!!! What I can do now may seem to some as powerless, however it has proven powerful time and time again so I get to bring my concerns and worries to God and PRAY-- HAVING FAITH THAT IN his PERFECT TIME, (whether the answer is yes, no or wait) that His answer will come, I only have to have Faith!

GOD'S ALWAYS AT WORK!

GOD'S ALWAYS AT WORK!

Many things I've written explain the validity of hindsight-- when one is able to reflect on and evaluate events, more sound decisions can be made (this is all my opinion of course). I have been overwhelmed with peace recently. This is the strangest feeling I've had since my accident. Since my accident? That was over 13 years ago-- that is a long time!! It may be a long time to you, but in my mind it seems like just yesterday. I am not saying that I will not ever pout or freak out again, I'm just saying that I feel amazing! I imagine this may be what a person feels like when a person is doing drugs and/or is high, but I'm on a natural high and I haven't even started taking melatonin (a sleep aid) nor do I know if I have a job that I have applied for at a school. ß So I wrote that section this morning (10/2/14) THEN….i get a surprise visit from a man I met in 2011. You may be thinking "Kimi has a brain injury and has a hard time remembering 3 minutes ago MUCH LESS 3 years ago."

That my friends, is why I keep a Prayer Journal. A section of the entry from that day 3 years ago (the day I had met this man) is as follows “Lord, I pray for Adam Loehr—I don’t know if he is who he says he is or not but Lord I just pray that in me, he saw Jesus Christ.” Then yesterday I asked the Lord if we could meet with a person Adam knows (to make sure he wasn’t putting on a front) and with God’s permission I asked Adam the same. He mentioned going to Chadbourne Church.  I told him about Rocky Mountain Calvary and Spruce Hill Church (Churches I attend) when all of a sudden a lady walks into the restaurant we were in and says “Hey Adam!”  Oh my it was someone that known Adam! It was none other than the associate pastor of Chadbourne Church! That was an instantaneous answer to a prayer! When the associate pastor invited me to Church I explained how Sunday was typically the day Ma and I got together and went to the Cowboy Church (Spruce Hill). Although I thought about asking if we could go to both Churches, I didn't think I should however I asked him anyways (I'm a rebel...lol). I was a bit taken back, when he said “sure.”  This guy is a complete weirdo I thought. God, can this be true, somebody that actually wants to go to more than one church on Sunday with me?? We'll have to see if he will sit through 3 of the same services at RMC next week..no not really hahaha....okay maybe.

I've been given 3 years to reflect on meeting this man. When we had first met, it was on the bus and when he asked to continue talking I got off and went to Red Lobster and I made sure the workers knew that I had never met this man and to watch me carefully. Sadly the workers did kinda make him feel uncomfortable as he remembers that day quite vividly but he's very understanding because I was single.

So now I wonder, I have been told that not many people stick around for long in my life, if remembering the vicinity of where live without having contact for 3 years counts. In those 3 years God has done amazing things in both his life and mine. Although he told me about a few things in his life, I will only mention what has gone on in my life. I have been through a lot of college and a lot of Church. I partially made it through grad school, and God gave me a position with kids at Church!

          Today I finally started taking the melatonin so I am tired and I have next step of the hiring process for D-11 tomorrow (10/3/14). Please pray for this interview as I believe this is the final one.

Hindsight has not been validated yet, but so many pieces are fitting together. See you around!

Peace Be Still

Peace Be Still                                                 

What an exciting day today has been! When I first woke up I just didn't feel right and wasn't able to work out…. Okay I could have but I felt like there was a cold coming on and I would spread germs everywhere or get more germs. I had a lot of fun talking with Safawn and I hope she had fun as well. Then I took a trip to Dickey's and met Shaina where we were able to have such a WONDERFUL discussion and God showed me more reasons that we first met-- I am so blessed to have met her 2 years ago!  

I was able to get home just in time to be picked up and taken to the next part of my District 11 interview where the MD was a total highlight of my day :-). Although I am generally a positive person, my first D-11 physical interview went poorly hence why I do not have the job…. Okay okay in all fairness it was not a job I should've applied for as the physical demands were completely out of my ability range but I think I am he-woman! However, the reason I did apply was to get my name out there in hopes that a job like the one currently under consideration would come along. My hopes are so high for this job it's not even funny. I promise this new medicine is amazing… I totally feel like myself!

SIDENOTE: Some people have seen me in bad moods since I have been on this new medicine however overall my moods have been a whole lot happier and back to my old self. And if you want to talk psychology, to be diagnosed with anything psychologically the symptoms must occur consistently for a certain length of time.

Additional excitement! While I was waiting for the bus to go meet Shaina I received a call and I was asked to move from a substitute in child care to a permanent position. I was totally up front with her and told her what was going on but now that I am writing this I'm letting go of anything giving it all to God because I would totally love working in the children's ministry.

*If you are the praying type, please pray that the Lord’s will is done!

            God just reminded me to be still as I thought of my friend Amy as a child singing Peace Be Still.

An Exception

An Exception

I woke up this morning with excitement. One because it was Sunday and I love going to Church but  it was a different kind of excitement. I was shaking because I would get to hear my new friend (Jim Edwards) on the radio (103.9 fm). As I started getting ready the first college class I took in 2006 at UCCS, psychology of the exceptional child with Lynn Fitzgrew popped into my head. I remember the excitement I had about starting a UCCS, and that same time the sadness I had about having to take your class that again appointment to the fact, again that since my accident I was "exceptional." At the time I was focused on myself going down that I didn't want to take the class focusing on what else may need different, I was definitely not where I am now with God and did not even think about how God could be using what I learned the class in my life.

I went through seven years of college where my educational goals ranged from getting a degree in psychology to getting my teachers license. Let me remind you that those goals, the latter one has yet to be reached. Had his eyes still sit here and ask “God, what am I doing?” As I was applying for jobs in looking at my resume I was reminded of what I had done so far (since my brain injury and moving back out here). My mom and I started a brain injury support group for young adults as the brain injury sport group that exists (Headway) seems to be for older people and although some members are so much fun and completely young-at-heart, there are different focuses in life during every different stage of life.

Now that college is over (at least for the moment) attendance at Headway has started again. Although some weeks I'm not up for pizza or salad (as served at Fargo's, where Headway meets) a few of the other members and I have been discussing how going to the meeting is not always for our personal enjoyment. At least once a month the group’s leader Debbie is there anything gives us important information about beneficial events taking place around the community. Not only can we learn great information but as the group always offers, there is a great time of socialization. Okay it sounds like I'm trying to sell something, but I just want to explain how different things in life are connecting.

This is going to be a bit disconnected but I think most of my writing (blogging) is. So here we go: when I was in college after taking the exceptional child class I took statistics and the statistics professor was musician. Somewhere in there I was urged to listen to our RXP (103.9FM) but it just wasn't my kind of music so I didn't really do it much. However I didn't go to bars downtown to listen to my professor’s band often. When I went to listen to my professor I would often end up dancing and trying to bust a move with friends and classmates. I really had not been dancing that much besides at different weddings I've been to lately and most recently my sister's wedding. I was invited to go dancing for my aunt's birthday. At the beginning of the week when I had first been told about the celebration were having I mentally made a note that I wanted to dance with somebody random. I thought, first of all I won't be my wheelchair so people won't have any hesitations. When we got there the crowd was definitely not a crowd I would think of dancing with although they sure could dance!

[SIDENOTE:] Okay I totally forgot to insert one of the connections, at Headway I met an amazing man with a spinal injury. Although I had taken many classes about the human brain that were taken during a time when I was still learning about what my brain injury was much less focusing on a different kind of injury. I had no clue about how spinal cord injuries affected a person. That day I prayed that God would give me a greater understanding of a spinal cord injury. Although his mom told me I could ask anything you wanted, I still wanted to research and find out information for myself because it's fun.

I ended up dancing with a man who has a spinal cord injury and is in a wheelchair. I also found out is a radio personality on RXP…RXP??? Oh wow!! My statistics professor... My first years at UCCS…. My first class…. Psychology of the exceptional child!!! In this class the way "exceptional" was referred to was that a child has a disability that prohibited her or him from learning in a traditional fashion. Henceforth the child was exceptional. Not only am I exceptional, but most people with a disability are exceptional!

There are we go, I was able to learn about spinal cord injuries through someone else however I will to have to talk to Ace because every injury effects each person so differently and doctors give information from what has happened in previous cases. My first neurologist put it best when telling my mom what to expect after my brain injury, “Kimi will do what she can do when she can do it.”

Just Dance

Just Dance

Keeping a prayer journal has been done off and on since sometime in high school. Primarily my Prayer Journal was used so I could reflect on how God was working through my life. However, since my brain injury my “Prayer Journal” has been more or less a journal of my daily activities serving as my memory or external hard drive.  I’ve noticed that more often recently my prayers that are answered are not the ones I’ve been mulling over and praying about for a long time, but rather the thoughts or ideas that I “nonchalantly” pass by God in an almost joking “Dear God” fashion.    

            Last night my aunts, my mom, and I went out to have a long overdue birthday celebration for one of my aunts. When I had first heard of what we were going to be doing (dancing), I decided I was going to dance with at least one “random person” or a person I had just met. The crowd at Maxi’s was definitely not a young adult crowd as it just happened to be the last night of Maxi’s being at their current location however when you get the three stooges (the 3 sista’s as they like to call themselves) there is fun to be had. The fun wasn’t so prevalent at the begining. Walking in, I saw a man in a wheelchair and instantly thought “that’s him, that’s who I am coming to dance with.” Then reality spoke up and reminded me that most people in that situation (in a wheelchair) cannot stand, walk or much less dance—what was I thinking?  Was I? Then again, I remembered that my new friend Ace had recently taught me how to dance with a partner in a wheelchair when we were at Craig Hospital. Soon enogh the man in the wheelchair approached me and mentioned my cane. Pulling up a chair I told him of my situation and asked his.  We talked for a bit then were off to dance. We danced a few times and had more time to talk. As I am writing this I remember coming home from Fargo’s, where I meet Ace, one day and I was praying to become more knowledgeable about spinal cord injuries so I could learn more about Ace.

Fortunately but unfortunately spinal cord injuries are similar to brain injuries (what I have) and most any disability in one aspect—the disability has the undeniable label it has as the result of a scientifically sometimes obviously verifiable evidence. For example, when a bone is broken sometimes you are able to actually see the displacement of the limb or area of the body injured. There are many disabilities on the other hand that are “invisible." I am going to focus on brain injuries and spinal cord injuries although many variations exist.

Ever since.I have been brain-injured, I’ve been to events where the survivors varied. Some had a stroke, others have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and some have a spinal cord injury. From what I have studied and been told, a brain injury is similar to a stroke as in both cases, the brain is effected. I have a friend with a spinal cord injury but he also has a brain injury so I would never know what initiated or caused an action or event. You may ask why the cause matters. Actually the cause does not matter, I just like to write, research, and gain knowledge. My philosophy is this: the brain is very malleable and actions can be learned and unlearned—the brain can re-wire itself. The spinal cord.... not so much, but I am still researching and learning about spinal cord injuries as I do not have one (my spine may disagree because I race up curbs and over speed bumps when driving my wheelchair (Hot Rod)so fast that I often land and feel my spine compress. I think my Hot Rod just needs shocks.

Last night I met a man who has a spinal cord injury and no brain injury. He is a radio personality (Jim Edwards) on 103.9 FM (Sat. 12n-6pm, Sun 6am-12n). Although I haven't herd him on the radio yet, the mere job description elicits that he is a fun person. Oh that's right, spinal cord injuries. I asked Jim what the effects of his spinal cord injury are and he said that besides paralysis he lives a “normal” life. After all of the information I’ve gathered from these injuries so far, spinal cord injuries and brain injuries are similar in the aspect that they are medically diagnosed. Any further diagnosis is self-reported and will vary according to each person.
As I started jotting down yesterdays events in my Prayer Journal so I would remember to thank God for the people and events that filled the night, this writing was the result.

Kimi….the shaky one…sold knifes?!?

Kimi….the shaky one…sold knifes?!?

I had an appointment at The Independence Center and did not have high expectations as I have dealt with another government organization for the previous decade and gotten no-where. What happened is while I was at Safeway talking to my best Eddie, he told

me that he had a friend that the Independence Center and thought it would be a good idea if I met him. Whether or not this leads to a job for me or not will be determined in the future, but everything starts somewhere. Eddie's friend started out as a volunteer and now he has his own office and an awesome title. He even suggested that I co-facilitate a group of  his…. Leading the group like that is one of my many dreams.

Oh so about the shaky picture of my discrumbled, dismantled , and bent ID being held up (with a knife to it )-- That is Mr. Stuart-- who looked at my resume and hadn't made a copy of my ID. When he returned from making a copy of my ID he explained that he first image that came to his head as for the explanation of the ID being in shape that it was .  I had to take a picture of him demonstrating what I must have looked like showing cutlery using my ID. This was his explanation for the beat up ID. Sadly, I had to say that the image he was getting wasn't completely wrong. Most of the customers demonstrated it for themselves after I explained it and although this worked the majority of time, here is a photo of my presentation gone awry!

 

Needless to say, that was a very short-lived adventure (trying to sell knives).